Oh, the all lovely relationships topic! I am looking forward to not having to learn any soul lessons in this department, yes? And by relationships I do not necessarily mean significant other.
We have relationships with all. However, the ones that are closest to us, i.e children, husband, wife, parent, etc. The ones that we care for moment by moment everyday. Those are the ones that really get our mental and emotional attention. Now, being a highly empathic person, makes these relationship experiences very blurry because I never know whose emotion that I am feeling. Most likely you are the same way and it makes it difficult to separate yourself from the energy of another. Do you tend to really get caught up in all your spats? Do you find it near impossible to “un” charge yourself from a situation between either you and a spouse or say, your spouse and your children (which is a situation that doesn’t even really include you)? Most people do.
I will give a little back ground on what is happening in these moments and then in my next post I will discuss how to comfortably and safely unwind and let go in situations that hold negative charges (like that big fight you just had with him/her!)
Okay, we know that we are all energy, right? Including our thoughts. So, when someone walks into the room with a negative emotion riding inside of them, are they the only ones to feel it? No. the energy of thought is bouncing all around them and hits you, smack, right in the head or should I say heart!? Now all of a sudden you are thinking thoughts that match their emotion. Seems fair, right? It’s not like you don’t have enough of your own to deal with! Now, there you are thinking “what a jerk!” “He/she is totally blaming me for their bad mood and blah, blah blah”, one bad thought begins after another of negative self imagery! And just seconds before life was so peaceful. Now your stomach is upset and you can feel your anger and irritation rising…. all because you let, yes I said ‘let’ yourself merge with another energy and the energy was charged negatively. Not only are we now getting involved in someone’s own ‘personal’ experience, but we have trained ourselves to join in on the pity party! We have automatically started thinking negative thoughts about ourselves. Sometimes it is just a tiny bit, sometimes we get carried away and really do some bashing! It will include offense and defense. Are you ready to ‘roar’ at this point? Or do you keep it all bottled up inside like a dormant volcano? Either way is not going to help anyone who has wondered into this awesomely negative experience. (I discussed in a prior post about falsely thinking that we know what another is thinking and feeling.) So, now what? How do we get out of this negatively charged situation and stay in control of ourselves? We need to defuse it fast and lovingly. Stay tuned for my next post – Part II of Defuse…
From the heart always,