I know..it ‘is’ so hard to forgive…

So the other day I was very annoyed at a few people who I am sharing my life experiences with at this time and I certainly did not enjoy the awful feelings that were running through my veins! I was having a little battle with myself at the same time, because that is just what I do when I know that I am thinking thoughts that are clearly not beneficial! It doesn’t really matter now, what the topic of irritation was, for at the time it surely had a hold on me. Thankfully the hold didn’t last long, it never really does with me due to the fact that I pay specific attention to my emotions, however, I never like to think any thoughts that make me fall down on the ladder. So, anyway the big question is… how did I get over it, right?

First one has to realize that the negative feelings are 100% only hurting ones self! No body else cares or knows what you are even thinking/feeling in the first place. Most of the time we are all just silently bubbling on the inside, while those around us cruise around completely unaware! Second, one has to ask, why am I hurting myself with these thoughts? (Oh, yeah.. back to the perfectly good reason to be irritated!! That person did that to me!!…) Now we are rightfully upset again because we have gone and made a mind circle back to feeling negative. This is all part of the process. You need to know why you are feeling negative so that you can release it! Following this exercise, what is needed is…… Forgiveness. And do you know why one needs to forgive? It is not to make the other person feel better (s*&#…. they don’t even know you have feelings!) We have to do it for ourselves! It is a gift to self when we forgive another! Toxic chemicals get released into our physical bodies when we are thinking negative thoughts. You can not heal yourself when you are holding a grudge! Forgive someone today because they are on their own life journey and you my friend, are on yours! Make it a great one full of blissful moments. We all have to live our own experiences. Perception is all that it is! Perceive it in a wonderful way, no matter what you created in your mind yesterday, that you are experiencing now! Forgive him or her for allowing their energies to blend with yours at a time when you did not want them to and then forgive yourself for allowing any negatives in! Good Luck and positive thoughts to you and yours… Until next time…

From the heart,


Manifesting: 101

I should know better! I am trying really hard not to be surprised or frustrated, but sometimes I just feel like screaming…AAHHHHH…. Okay, Here’s the deal. I know that what ever you are concentrating on, you eventually will bring something of the sort, into your own life. Now here is the difference between wanting something with the inner knowledge that you do not have it or in other words, you don’t have the past experience to really relate to what that specific experience, i.e: being a millionaire or winning certain material items or have a romantic evening with a lover, because you have never done any of those to know what it would feel like deep in your heart. Now have you ever had your heart-broken or been without money or found your health to be less than tip-top??? The answer is most likely, yes (unfortunately.) Now I have a terrible habit of listening to others speak about the things that are not going well in their lives, whether it be money, issues with children, or spouse problems, etc. I am incredibly empathic (I’m sorry but I have to consider this a down fall on my character) and being so, I always listen to others intently and with a heart-felt feeling of connection. Bad move on my part. But I do  not want to alienate my co-experiencers, so how does one listen ‘and’ NOT manifest a like experience into ones own life? Everyone who I have gathered my knowledge from always says the same thing, “Change the subject or walk away from a conversation that involves negative energy.” What do you think? Would you think me rude, if I never wanted to listen to you speak about your problems? How would I help you if I can’t listen to you? Is it my ‘job’ to help you? Does it really matter what anyone else thinks? Should I only help those who are experiencing something that I have never experienced before, therefore I can not really ‘feel’ what it is like to be in their situation at all? I know there are many spiritual ways that one can protect themselves from emerging energies, but do I have to do that every moment (which is a lot) that the opportunity arises? I can see why people can become hermits at first when they learn all of this information. Turn the t.v. off, listen to only up beat, positive songs, stay at home and hide! I have already done that and yes, it actually does work, but I am way beyond that now. I still notice, obviously, when I manifest unwanted experiences into my life and when it is brought on by intently listening to others. I guess it is a good thing just to be able to recognize it. If I want the opposite experience I really need to give more time and effort over to ‘that’ wanted experience. And it does take great practice and much patients to concentrate on something that one has never (really) experienced before. Usually we give up to quickly because we aren’t seeing results, but that is only because it takes longer to manifest something that is hard for us to actually and heartfully feel deep inside, when we have never even experienced it before. (And it only takes moments to manifest things that we have previously experienced, because we know exactly how it feels.) The art of manifesting is all in the FEELINGS. So, for now I will chalk up a few loses to being lazy and therefore learning what I do not want and start a new day! Today I will not listen to the negative stuff. Today I will not slip into my empathic ways and indulge in my ego’s negative memories. Today I will look into only that which I desire. Today I will feel GOOD! Today I will forgive myself for being lazy-minded and pamper my spirit! Today I will love my new-found abundances. Today I will remember what it feels like to be stinkin’ rich, have a highly energetic and  healthy body, love with an open-heart, be loved to no end and be completely connected to my source energy!
What are YOU going to do today?

From the heart, always,


P.S.     Actually, if you do not give attention to the negative experiences that others are going through, you are ‘helping’ them, greatly! If you only concentrate on the solution and not the problem, that is the helping part of the equation. There, I just solved my own dilemma. I love talking this stuff out! Now I just need to remember my own advise every single moment of my day, right?? ha,ha….

Another day in the life of a deliberate creater


"When life gives you lemons, make some tasty lemonade"

"When life gives you lemons, make some tasty lemonade"

I feel like I need to take a really big deep breath and slowly exhale……aahhh. Okay, the last two days I feel like I have been testing myself, left and right. How annoying, right? Because I know that I attract everything and I want to attract certain experiences and I also know that when I am experiencing a repeat of certain episodes (life experiences that I do ‘not’ want) that I am in the processes of testing myself to see how I am ‘now’ handling the situation, always with grace of course (not!) Let me explain further. When I am in the (usually long) process of trying to complete a life lesson or soul lesson, that specific experience that I am trying to rid my life of, will creep up from behind and ‘SMACK’ me right across the face! Which of course happened to me today.

Yesterday, however was a little bit easier (sneaky bastards..life lesson I mean) Anyway, I had only little bits of tests yesterday like, being late for appointments and trying hard not to look at the clock, while staying relaxed to pay attention to see if someone was going to pull in front of me and slow down to a crawl (I made it to my destination without a second to spare, but not late and keeping my smile all the while. Ha! take that, self.)

I also, had a great healing session done on me last night which was very spiritually opening. The healing was all done through energy work and might explain why today was so interesting for me or should I say painful. I am probably not making much sense, so let me try to explain further.

A soul lesson consists of an event in one’s life that one does not want and therefore is trying to release and rid themselves of. The less one puts thought and energy into the unwanted, the less it will occur. A life or soul lesson is something that you have been trying to overcome for lifetimes. So, usually it is a biggie, something that makes you feel uncomfortable deep inside and recurs often and with great strength. It also will most likely involve a very close partner (spouse, parent, child, etc.) because the two of you agreed to come in together to help each other overcome and spiritually grow in regards to this certain subject, hence ‘life lesson.’ Once you overcome, that certain experience will no longer be experienced and you will than have ascended.

Now, my personal lesson that I have a co-experiencer with, nipped me in the butt today and I had an unusually hard time letting go, emotionally. My mind was analyzing each word and phrase and emotion and and and.. I finally had to talk it out with another close experiencer (who, ironically, was also experiencing the near exact episode with her co-experiencer – go figure.) We are on the same spiritual page so it made it easy for us to counsel each other. I would say things like, “I know that in order for me emerge from this hole, I need to let go and actually ‘stop’ talking about it and analyzing it to death, but ….”, “My emotions are so charged and I just have to release and them and remember (the word ‘remember’ came up a lot) what I know.” This particular soul lesson had been so INfrequent lately, that I know it is almost over, I am almost there, “don’t let this one do you in”,  ‘I CAN overcome and release.”  Because here is how it works: The more advanced you are in the process of releasing your soul lesson, meaning, not letting it bother you and detaching from the negative energy associated with it, the less ‘it’ will occur in your life. Eventually it will be far and few between, until barely ever. Then “Wham!” it will   show its evil face, just to test you and see if you really are over it. How you react will determine if it’s out for good and you move on. So, today I really fought to react in a smart and positive way. I want this b*#@$ to be gone and gone for good! My negative action was short-lived (with work) and I was gratefully rewarded with a more peacefully energetically charged, co-experiencer. I am not fully removed, yet. And I know this because I am only ‘almost’ able to fully disconnect (and still hold compassion at the same time) from the subject of the experience and my co-experiencer. However it is a million times better than it has ever been before in this lifetime and the past lifetimes. So, all in all I end on a happy note with the thoughts of an easy and peaceful present (I almost said future, oops), filled with love and freedom. Until next time… smiles to all.

From the heart, always,


p.s. I wanted to thank a fellow blogger named, Sarah (sarah-alice-enterprises@live.com) for doing a great job on editing my up and coming book. I can’t wait to release it to the public!!! Thanks, Sarah!

A day in the life of a deliberate creater…

Hhmmm…. What to say…. being a writer, it is always great when your mind goes blank (when you want to write something) but it practically screams when I need to meditate – go figure.

Well, I wanted to start writing yesterday, however due to the fact that it was the first day that I had made the decision to change my blog up( for the time being, ) I totally sabatogged myself! All day long I kept thinking of things that I wanted to write about in my posting at the end of the day. So, I kind of missed out on a lot of moments to actually write about in regards to the law of attraction. I did however, in the midst of getting my 3 wonderful yet hurried children ready for school (7am), run up the stairs and pull my muscle in my left calf! And knew right away that my body/soul connect was yelling at me “Slow Down, Woman!” Therefore, after I got all my children off to school, I cancelled my fitness classes and rested for the day. I happily made some new friends on wordpress and enjoyed the sounds from my new alarm clock, it’s one of those that makes ocean sounds and other like sounds (highly suggest getting one!) Anyway, my day was kind of ‘flat’ so nothing exciting happened, and my leg feels a little bit better today (I was able to teach my hip-hop class, yah.) That brings me to today. It started out normal and okay, but I had a feeling of mute sadness around and through me, so I had to do a lot of positive personal coaching, moment by moment. I hate when I have to do this because it is quite exhausting, but I know in the long run it is worth it. It got me through the day, which was a good thing because, while nothing major happened in my personal reality, I watched it happen to others, left and right! One of them happened to my boss who found out that her man is and has been, cheating on her with what seems to be, more than one girl. He was not being very smart and left his phone in her room (not a good idea if you have pretty pictures of half naked women on it and messages that are obscene – hopefully he learns something tonight when she bashes the hell out of him..) I was the first one on the scene of the “Oh my god he’s cheating on me and I can’t breath right now..” She was all red and so hurt and pissed and every other fair emotion that I would only imagine would run through the body of such an experience. And I wanted with every fiber of my being to sit her down and give her sound advise and help coach her through this horrible experience, but…… I could only tell her how sorry I was and give that face of compassion. I know that she has to live ‘it’ herself because she’s the one who attracted this and it is quite a soul lesson for her (I had to keep closing my lips and silently tell myself to let that need to help her, go.) She needs to learn how to detach and love herself (there is so much self pity, hate, & guilt) and there was nothing I could do to help her learn her lesson, other than hold her hand and wish her peace. We will have to see tomorrow if she did indeed have the cops show up – that’s what she said, not me! I will let you know the outcome.

So, then I had to think of all the wonderful things that I am grateful for and I of course called my husband to tell him how much I love him. I always do that when I hear/see bad relationship stories. My husband and I are on the same page (or at least in the same chapter.) Unfortunetly, he was also having a similar experience in regards to being stabbed in the back by a few friends or should I say former friends. I also had to pull the compassion card and let him ride it out. That was my journey for the day – “helping people by not helping them!” It has made me a stronger person to let go and let others live out what they need to, although I can help those who ‘ask’ for help, because that is when help is needed and useful. Today I was not asked but did the best I could to silently give love to those in need and do my best to lead by peaceful example, (but, boy was it hard especially when someone you love is hurting and spouting out about how they want revenge – a lot of that going on – and you ‘know’ that it is only going to hurt ‘them’ and bite them back sooner or later, but again it’s their journeys, I am just here with them to ‘co’ experience.) My love to all of you out there today having experiences like these….

Until next time (and I am sure I will slowly have more deliberate creative experiences to write about as soon as I stop thinking about writing about them, ha, ha, ha…) Smiles and positive vibrations to you all…

From the heart,



Oh, the all lovely relationships topic! I am looking forward to not having to learn any soul lessons in this department, yes? And by relationships I do not necessarily mean significant other.

We have relationships with all. However, the ones that are closest to us, i.e children, husband, wife, parent, etc. The ones that we care for moment by moment everyday. Those are the ones that really get our mental and emotional attention. Now, being a highly empathic person, makes these relationship experiences very blurry because I never know whose emotion that I am feeling. Most likely you are the same way and it makes it difficult to separate yourself from the energy of another. Do you tend to really get caught up in all your spats? Do you find it near impossible to “un” charge yourself from a situation between either you and a spouse or say, your spouse and your children (which is a situation that doesn’t even really include you)? Most people do.

I will give a little back ground on what is happening in these moments and then in my next post I will discuss how to comfortably and safely unwind and let go in situations that hold negative charges (like that big fight you just had with him/her!)

Okay, we know that we are all energy, right? Including our thoughts. So, when someone walks into the room with a negative emotion riding inside of them, are they the only ones to feel it? No. the energy of thought is bouncing all around them and hits you, smack, right in the head or should I say heart!? Now all of a sudden you are thinking thoughts that match their emotion. Seems fair, right? It’s not like you don’t have enough of your own to deal with! Now, there you are thinking “what a jerk!” “He/she is totally blaming me for their bad mood and blah, blah blah”, one bad thought begins after another of negative self imagery! And just seconds before life was so peaceful. Now your stomach is upset and you can feel your anger and irritation rising…. all because you let, yes I said ‘let’ yourself merge with another energy and the energy was charged negatively. Not only are we now getting involved in someone’s own ‘personal’ experience, but we have trained ourselves to join in on the pity party! We have automatically started thinking negative thoughts about ourselves. Sometimes it is just a tiny bit, sometimes we get carried away and really do some bashing! It will include offense and defense. Are you ready to ‘roar’ at this point? Or do you keep it all bottled up inside like a dormant volcano? Either way is not going to help anyone who has wondered into this awesomely negative experience.  (I discussed in a prior post about falsely thinking that we know what another is thinking and feeling.) So, now what? How do we get out of this negatively charged situation and stay in control of ourselves? We need to defuse it fast and lovingly. Stay tuned for my next post – Part II of  Defuse…

From the heart always,


This is swimming in the deep end..

Why do tragic experiences happen to us?

This is a touchy subject because when you are swimming in the energy of a tragic experience, it is near impossible to see outside of the deep, dark waters.

Everyone has negative experiences, some are what one would describe as horrific while others are just considered terrible. What’s the difference? Well, that can only be determined by the ones that are in the experience and no other.

I have had some (what I would call) terrible experiences, yet have come out on top (now – not in those moments) because I have learned and tried with all my might to release the fish-hooks that were attached to me (from the remembered experience.) How did I do it? How can we live through something horrific and actually swim up and float on top of the water to enjoy the warmth of the sun again? Hmmm.. God question! (yes, I said God when ‘good’ should have been written, because it is such a human question that seems so spiritually driven!) Well, here’s what my consciousness has to say in regards to this subject….(and by consciousness, I am referring to my intuitive divine connect, my higher self that is and will always be, even after my physical body expires – it is what we all have and what I am always talking about when we discuss our connect and the like. It is our goal to always tap into this loving source for all reasons that we are choosing while we are here.)

I am having difficulties with this one because I want to keep it simple and not too long (and not sound unattached, to be honest.)

Okay, (I have already erased this sentence a trillion times) the reason I am struggling is because those of us who have or are living thru a tragic experience would never believe this, and I don’t blame them. The pain seems like a ridiculous feeling to put oneself through, however…

We actually already preplanned our major learning events w/ the people that we are experiencing them with before we came into these wonderful bodies! There. I did it!

I know it is so hard to swallow, that it’s not someone’s fault outside of us. For some reason (that is unknown to most) there are certain experiences that we need to go through to learn a life lesson or spiritual lesson. It could seem detrimentally huge or quite seemingly small, yet we need to learn from it all. It is part of the process of ascension. Once we learn our soul lesson we will no longer need to experience such matters.

We might be having a tragic experience to help another. Which also would have been a prior agreement.

So, we are not here ‘just’ to enter a body and then leave a body. It is much deeper than that! So, the next big question is…. where does the law of attraction fit into this, if it was all preplanned???? Well, Only the major soul lessons were needed for growth, how we learn and react to these events will determine our future.

Will we have to keep experiencing such events until we learn that needed soul lesson. unfortunately, yes. But not in the exact same way, perhaps. The law of attraction is part of the whole fun puzzling experience. We are here to feel all the wonderful senses that we are blessed with and make chooses in regards to our experiences. Do we want ‘this’  or ‘that’ again? Yes. Keep going on the same emotional/thought path. No? Learn and shimmy up your emotional ladder, then.

Like I said, sometimes it’s for the learning purpose of another. Sometimes we need to learn how to let go and practice the gifts of giving and receiving the purest form of ‘love’. What ever ones reason is, it is derived from divinity.

Remember, if we are our ‘soul’ which is energy, we never truly,die.
We are always. And we are here in this chosen body for a certain period of time to experience all that we can and to utilize our amazing gifts of body, mind and spirit connect! So, there is never anything to really fear or feel guilty or have any other negative emotion about. There is just life!

Try to make yours a good one by using the information that you have received through your own experiences, whether it has been gathered from the co-experiencers or from within. And appreciate the present and look forward to the future.

My deepest loving thoughts to you, always…